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Good Night sMs March 31, 2009

Posted by bloggerrkumar in Good Night sMs.
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Never blame a day in ur life.
Good days give u happiness.
Bad days give u experience.
Both are essential in life!
All are Gods blessings!
Good night.

 

Art of living:
First of all,dont make friends.
If made,dont go close to them.
If gone,dont like them.
If liked,then plz.. Dont leave them.
Good Night, sweet dreams…

 

Since ur eyes are looking tired,
Let ur eye lashes hug each other for few hours.
Happy journey into the world of dreams.
Sweet dreamz…
Gudnite to u dear.

 

A famous writer said “Love is like a long sweet dream”
And “marriage is an alarm clock.”
So have a sweet dreams till ur alarm wakes you up!

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Funny sMs March 31, 2009

Posted by bloggerrkumar in Funny sMs.
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Har desh ki ek sarhadd hoti hai
Bache ki bhi ek jidd hote hai
Aur kitna intzaar karru tere sms ka
Kanjosi ki bhi koi hadd hoti hai

 

Tell me why are you avoiding me these days?
Did I do anything wrong?
Please stay in touch with me atlest once in a day
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Yours lovingly,
Bathing Soap

 

You are very special to me.
I don’t want to lose a friend like you.
I always pray that you should be safe.
So please
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Be careful whenever you jump from tree to tree.

 

When i open my eyes every morning,
I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you….

./..


Why should only i suffer!!!

 

God made man and then rested.
God made women and then no one rested.

 

Terrorists have kidnapped our ministers…
And demanded ransom of 5000000 Rupees or else they will burn them with kerosene…
Plz donate…..
I have donated 15 litres.
Santa to doctor : Dr: when i sleep monkeys play football in my dream..
Dr:no problem just take this medicine before sleep.
Santa: kal se loonga aaj raat ko final hai.

 

Aap itraate bahut ho dil ko behlate bahut ho,
Sochte hai apko Dinner per le jaye,
Par kya kare hamara iraada badal jaata hai,
Kyunki aap khate bahut ho…!!

 

Apki ‘smile’ ne saara jahan hila diya,
Apki ‘smile’ ne saara jahan hila diya,
Coma  se jaage huye mareez ko permanently sula diya.

 

Ladka apni dilruba se pooch raha hai
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Ladke ka dost uske kaan mein bolta hai
“Abbey patli gali pakad peeche uska baap hai”

 

Girls are like internet domain names… The ones I like are already taken.

 

Ur the 1st thing that comes 2 my mind.
I wish I could start my day with U in my bed.
I just luv Ur feel to my lips. U just make my day.
I love U
.
.
.
NESCAFE!

 

Bihar ki gali main paan ki dukan
Devdas ne dekhi Paro Ki muskan,
Devdas ne khilaya paro ko paan,
Khake paan Paro boli “Shukriya Bhai Jan”

 

Bolaa dukaan-daar, “ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho ge meri dukaan per wo paoge”
Maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane ka cake hai
Bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa ghar leke jaaoge?

 

Kar diya izhare-ishq hamne telephone par,
Laakh rupaye ki bat thi,
Do rupaye main ho gayee (wah wah)

 

Hum hum hain, tum tum ho
Na hum kam hain
Na tum kam ho
To kis bat ka gam hai
SMS bhejte raho,
Tabhi to lage ga k mobile wale mein dam hai

 

Arz kiya hai:
I am a dog and u r a flower,
gaur farmaiega I am a dog and u r a flower,
so let me lift my leg n give u a shower!

 

PREGNENT GIRL FRIEND AUR JALE HUE TOAST KO DEKH KAR AAP KYA SOCHTE HAINN ?
?
?
?
?
 ?
?
KAASH EK MINUTE PAHLE NIKAL LIYA HOTA!!

 

5 ChineseChuBuHuFu and Su decided to immigrate to the US .
In order to get a visathey had to adapt their names to American standards.
Chu became Chuck
Bu became Buck
Hu became Huck
*
*
*
*
*
Fu and Su decided to stay in China

 

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called the present.

 

Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!

 

Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..

 

Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
Jo Mama Mama kehke bulaate hain 🙂

 

Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,
Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
Latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
Bartan Lelo Bartan….

 

What is the Frustrations ?
When…
Briteny Comes at your home
And say “Kiss me Now at just Rs. 100/-“….
But…at that time you have only Rs. 50/-…

 

Yesterday whole night i was thinkin abt only “U”
Now i’m thinking of “V”.
Tonight i’ll definitly think abt
.
.
.
.
W,x,y and z….

 

Girl: I Want You To Be with Me In a Nice Restaurant
To Have Candle Light Dinner… & i will Say Those Sweet Three Words To U…
.
.
.
“Pay The Bill…”

 

Duniya mein bewafaon ki kami nahin hai.
Ab suraj ko hi dekho lo aata hai USHA ke saath,
Rehta hai KIRAN ke saath
Aur jaata hai SANDHYA ke saath.

 

Hum ne jindagi ki shuruaat ‘s’ se ki.
S se SURAJ
S se SUBAH
S se SWAGAT
S se SAAZ
S se SANGIT
Par fir ‘s’ se SAMAY ne aeisi karvat badli ki ‘s’ se hamari SHAADI ho gai.
Aur fir jivan ka arth ‘s’ se SAANS,SASURAL, SALA ,SALI, SASUR aur ‘SANKAT’ ho gaya .
To hum ‘s’ se SAMADHI lene wale hai, is liye ‘s’ se thoda dur rahena mere yaro.

 

Pyar karnevale PARESAN ho jate he
Shadi karnevale SHARABI ho jate he,
Divorce denevale DEVDAS ho jate he,
Ham se Dosti karnevale MSG SE MEHARBAN ho jate he.

 

Devdas ko babu ji ne kaha ghar chod do,
Maa ne kaha paro chod do ,
Paro ne kaha sharab chod do,
Par TUMSE kis ullu ne kaha sms karna chod do…

 

Dream makes al things possible,
Hope makes al things work,
Luv makes al thigs beutifl,
Smile makes al d abv
So always BRUSH UR TEETH…!

 

TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho…!

 

This cat,
Is cat,
A cat,
Good cat,
Way cat,
To cat,
Keep cat,
An cat,
Idiot cat,
Busy cat,
For cat,
20 cat,
Seconds cat !…
Now read it without the word cat

 

AAJ phir tum nazar nahin aaye,
phir tamanna ke phool murjhaaye,
naa jane kin galiyon mein kho gaye tum
hum to police station se gagal khaane tak dhoondh aaye…

A man said his credit card was stolen….
But he decided not to report it since the
thief was spending much less than his wife did….

Door rehkar bhi dil ke paas lagte ho,
Nazron se door rehkar khaas lagte ho,
Har baar doosron ka bheja SMS bhejkar
khud ko smart samajhte ho!!!

If ur world is spinning round & round…
Your heart is beating fast……. Do u think its LOVE ?
NA munna NA,Its called………..??
High B.P……..!!!!

YE “MoHABBAT” Mari nahi “HUMARI”hai,
TABHI to sab RISHTON se PYAARI hai,
ZAROORI nahi MUHABBAT ka “ROZ” milna.
TABHI to SMS ka SILSILA jari hai….

DOOR se dekhaa to Sher (Lion) thaa…….
DOOR se dekhaa to Sher thaa
DOOR se dekhaa to Sher thaa
Is Liye pass gaye hi nahi……..:-)

AASMAN par jitne sitare hain… Wah..Wahh…
Aankhon mein jitne ishare hain….Wah…Wahh…
Samandar ke jitne kinare hain…….Wah …. Wahhh….
Utne screw dheele tumhare hain
AB KAHO WAHH…!!! WAHH……!!!!

ZAMANA kitna kharab ho gaya hai,
Har sawal ka ulta jawaab ho gaya hai,
Na miss call na SMS ka jawaab koi, Har koi Mobile rakh ke NAWAAB ho gaya hai……

PAIDAYSHI paglon ke 4 Nishaniyaan:-
(i) Seedhe haath mein mobile pakdega…
(ii) Angoothe se button dabayega……..
(iii) Massage padh ke hasega….

(iv) Aur Sochega ab Kisko Bhejoon…?

 

WO thanda thanda pani, wo shampoo ki mahak
Wo khushboo wala sabun, wo mulayam tauliya,
Wo saaf dhule kapde,Khair chhodo,
Tum kyaa jano ROZ nahane ka mazaa…..

DIL ne kaha chalo SMS karein,
Socha DIL TO PAGAL HAI,
Phir khayal aaya, chalo koi baar nahin
Jisko karna hai…..WO BHI PAGAL HAI….. 😉

SOJA-Soja bina Massage padhe Soja,
Sapne mein Bhoot aayega,
Aur aapko Yaad dilayega, ki aapne mujhe Massage nahin kiya………Wish u BHOOTIYA night, and HORROR night.

DOOR se dekhaa to barsaat ho rahi thi
DOOR se dekhaa to barsaat ho rahi thi
Bahar gaye aur Bheeg gaye….. 😦

EK baar ek mulla ji apne liye Bivi (Wife) maangne allah ke paas gaye,
Tab tak uski maan, chal basi, mulla ji bole,
he allah, meri to mili nahinAbba ki bhi uthaali…

HITLER bhi chala gaya, SADDAM bhi pakda gaya,
OSAMA ka bhi pata nahin, TUM bhi dikhte nahin,
Lagta hai dharti par achchhe din aa gaye hain…

IS massage ko chatne se tumhein adarakh ka swad aayega,
Chaato…….!!
Nahin aaya…..??
Achchha…… Ek kaam karo……!!
Dubara chaato… is baar zaroor aayega….
Aaaya……??
Nahin aaya….???
Oh….!!! Sorry Yaar……….., BUNDER kyaa jane adrakh ka swad…

DOOR se dekha to ladki HASEEN thi,

dhyaan se suniye… haan. … to

DOOR se dekha to ladki HASEEN thi….

LEKIN paas se dekha to BIGDEE MACHINE THE

 

Aaj toh bahut khush hoge tum…

Kyunki, barish jo ho rai hai

Aur Har barish mein…

Sabhi MENDAK Bahut khush hote hai..

 

Tabyat thik nahi thi,

Tantrik ko dikhaya,

Tantrik ne kaha tum par bhut ka saya hai,

Kisi ghor papi ko msg karo tum thik ho jaoge.

To mere dimaag mein tumhara khayaal aya hai.

 

Phulon se khoobsurat koi nahi

Sagar se gahara koi nahi

Ab aapki kya tarif karu

Dost me aap jaisa

Nalayak koi nahi!

 

Aap ki chal mor jaisi……..

Aawaz…. koyal jaisi….

Diamag……. lomdi jaisa

Gussa………… sher jaisa

Eyes…… hiran jaisi…..

Kitna acha hota agar 2-3 qualities INSAANO jaisai bhi hoti….

 

Jab kanjusi ka oskar award diya jayega

tab tumhara naam sabse aage hoga..

galti se ek sms bhi mat karna

warna oskar kisi aur ko diya jayega…

 

Sumunder ki gaharai ki bhi had hoti hai,

Aasma ki unchai ki bhi had hoti hai,

Ek sms to kar de yaar Kanjusi ki bhi had hoti hai

 

Mangta Hoon to deti nahi, Mangta Hoon to deti nahi………….. jawab meri bat ka.

Deti hai to Khada ho jata hai……….. rongta mere hath ka.

Kahti hai dheere se dalo………… balon me phhol gulab ka.

 

I’ve been arrested for bein the ugliest person in Britain,

Can u cum down the police station and show them it’s a mistake?

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I was born smart & handsome,

but what the hell happend to you?

 

Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman!

You have only 2 eyes…….

But you sight every woman.

Now tell me asali Ravan kaun?

 

Suna hai ki aapki ek muskaan pe log marte hai.

So please keep smiling to reduce population.

 

I love…. I love…. I love…… I love you…I love you the most.

I love you the best. I love you a lot..

Bcoz MENAKA GANDHI said “People should LOVE animals.”

 

hi want to talk to u now …can u call me plz…..

nothing special but need to speak to u…. I…I… just want to hear your voice….

Just to hear whether I can hear the dogs cry again………and again…. 🙂

 

Don’t let you mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Brains aren’t everything.

In fact in your case they’re nothing.

Husband & Wife Jokes March 31, 2009

Posted by bloggerrkumar in Husband & Wife Jokes.
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Husband makes a strong peg of whisky
And tells his wife: PI ISKO
WIFE tastes and says ” chhee Kitni kadvi hai”
Husband: Aur tu sochti hai ki main Roj aish karta hun

 

Wife: suniye jee aap ka dost galat ladki se shaadi kar raha hai. Aap usse rokte kyon nahi?
Husband: main kyon rokoon? Us ne mujhe roka tha kya.

 

Wife to her husband: janu meri blouse utaro..
aB aisa karo mera ghaghra bhi utaro.
Aur khabardar Jo aaj k baad mere kapde pehne to.

 

Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!

 

Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti din bhar tumhare hathon me rehti.
Husband: meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se issi bahane her din nayi nayi to milti.

 

Wife: Honey…… What are you looking for?
Husband:  Nothing.
Wife: Nothing…?? U’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour…??
Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date.

 

Girls Collage mai Strike ho gai, Sabhi girls Nare Laga rahi hai,
Girls k satth Boys bhi unka satth de rahe hai,
Girls ne Nare lagate huye “HAMARI MANGE….,
Piche se Awaz aye,”SINDUR SE BHARO….”.

 

Wife : Ek baat bolu??
Husband : Bolo
Wife : Maaroge to nahi?
Husbund : Nahi to, kya baat hai?
Wife : mai pregnant hun
Husband : Hurray!!! Its gud news, dar kyu rahi thi??
Wife : College ke dino mai papa ko bataya tha to badi maar padi thi.

 

A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married.
Guess what they named them… Jo Hua, So Hua.

Mom & Child Jokes March 31, 2009

Posted by bloggerrkumar in Mom & Child Jokes.
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One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
MOM: “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.”
SON: “But why, Mama? I don’t want to go to school.”
MOM: “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.”
SON: “One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.”
MOM: “Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.”
SON: “Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?”
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MOM: “One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.”

 

Child: Mom is bar hum sare patakhe is shop se lein gey,
Mom : lekin beta ye to girls hostel hai,
Child: Papa to kahte hain k sari phul-jhadiyan yahi rahti hain.

 

Mother: How was your first day at school?

Son: It was all right except for some man called “Teacher” who kept spoiling all our fun!

 

Son: I’m not going back to school ever again

Mom: Why ever not?

Son: The teacher doesn’t know a thing, all she does is ask questions!

 

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.

The note read, “The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.”

 

A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
Girl: “I’m just wasting my time there…!, “I can’t read, I can’t write and they won’t let me talk!”

Adult Jokes/sMs March 31, 2009

Posted by bloggerrkumar in Adult sMs/Jokes.
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What is the long thing that has a hole at the tip & being inserted into a deepslimyhairy hole and can make u feel better ?



……. VICKS INHALER ! U Dirty MIND

 

Rich man to Poor man:” how come you have! got a big p&nis ?”
Poor man: ” because when I was a little boy I have no other toy to play with !”

 

PAHALE HAATH MEIN LO

FIR SEEDHA KARO

FIR THOOK LAGAO

FIR ANDAR GHUSAO
 
TIGHT HAI NAHI GAYA?

FIR THOOK LAGAO

FIR ANDAR GHUSAO

KITNA MUSKIL HAI NA……
!
!
!
!
!
!!
!!!
!!!!
!!!!!
SUI (NEEDLE) ME DHAGA DALNA!!!!!

HA! HA!! HA!!!!!! HAAAA

 

Kya aap SEX karte hai,
Kya aap CONDOM use karte hain,
Kya aap AIDS se darte hai,
To aap HATH se Q nahi karte hai,
HATH chale to AIDS tale.

 

5 ChineseChuBuHuFu and Su decided to immigrate to the US .
In order to get a visathey had to adapt their names to American standards.
Chu became Chuck
Bu became Buck
Hu became Huck
*
*
*
*
*
Fu and Su decided to stay in China

 

Rose Marry ne Mr. Lele ko Talak de diya..!!.
Pata hai kyoon….?
Kyoonki…..
Use apna naam is tarah batana padta tha..”Roz Meri Lele”
Lekin uska bad luck dekhiye dubara uski shadi Mr. Marlow se huee…
Sochiye ab wo apna naam kaise batayegi…!!! 🙂

 

Meera in Flight returning from dubai asked by reporter :
Aap ne bollywood aur Hollywood ke actors main kya fark paya?
Meera: sirf khatnay ka!!!

 

Unborn twins in the mother’s stomach saw a penis.
1st Baby: Dekh Papa aa rahe hai.
2nd Baby: Abe stupid, ye pados wale uncle hai, papa kabhi raincoat nahi pehante.

 

1 Nangi larki ne Bar me Pac ka order dia!

Waiter use dekhta reh geya.

Larki: Kabhi nangi larki nahi dekhi kya?

Waiter: Haan dekhi hai, but Main soch raha hon, tu paisy kahan se nikalegi.

 
A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.

Dr: What salary U Xpect?

Nurse: Rs.10,000.

Dr was overjoyed &
said: My Pleasure.

Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000.

 

1st night of marriage: boy start sucking breasts & till morning ..
In morning father came & “Said beta naha lo…”
WIFE SAID: “Iss kanjar KO Sirf gararEy kArwaoo.”